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Kept

by Corsicana

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    Kept - pressed onto standard black 140g vinyl. Features artwork on the front, double-sided insert, back, & spine. Full album lyrics & credits are printed on the insert.

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    Includes unlimited streaming of Kept via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
~lyrics~ the silence speaks: “you’ll be buried sullen and empty.” your family’s shame kept beside you at all times. it’s the same battered resolve. the soil behaves as if you’re finally loving again. the leaves decay atop the envy we knew you’d repressed. now, you are all that you hate. on some hazy day, when your return swallows me whole, i’ll know to speak in ways the summer couldn’t defend. the silence heaves: “leave your resentment where it belongs.” did you catch the light through the cracks?
2.
Palindrome 04:15
~lyrics~ it’s like a gentle hum that keeps you up as much as it soothes. it’s like a slow burn in all the ways it found to harm. it’s in our quivered breaths under threat of “not enough.” and you were patient then with every dream you could not recall. i taste the lead again, you slide your furor off the side of the bed. and if we call it by name could we capture it and ask “of all the homes you find, why nestle in our pride?” our triumph fades once i am shaken awake. it’s like the first time you crept your way into my life it’s like the quiet yearn of a hand climbing down your back am i wanted, then? or will i stay a means to an end? and if you call me by name, could i outrun the shame of knowing that i’ll find every reason to reside right by your side in the darkest corner of my mind
3.
Wreath 03:27
~lyrics~ an open thought for what it means & how it feels, and the difference in each. (are you half unseen?) all at once, i am all my best and all my worst. do you wear it like a wreath when you can’t sleep? it flooded every inch of me. is it easier to breathe when i’m beneath you? adjacent cause; adjacent flaws: they do not spell out a name, nor the boundaries you claim when you feel you fit the frame. crown the depths, unsteep your guilt and your unrest. reach around that remembrance, still. hold me down until i do not speak anymore, and let it go. do we brace until it breaks us in at last? you are the daydream that i dread. why is it harder to leave than to stave you off? are you learning how it reads from far away? they won’t love you for your grief. it’s a prayer that you whispered half asleep, it’s not a promise that you’ll keep.
4.
Ludlow 02:26
~lyrics~ i pull my left hook hard again i hock my “right way” out and then i took the wrong way out again i feed it back and bleed a friend “is it a fault that you try to pin on everyone that you’ve ever lost? would you force it until it fits? is it the blood rush that you love?” now, i am stunted and blind. would i have made any other choice? i pull my left hook hard again i hock my “right way” out and then i took the wrong way out again i feed it back and bleed a friend i cut my loss as a good man does tease it out until the feeling comes i cut as close as you know to look it’s just as much what you know i took
5.
The Receiver 05:44
~lyrics~ oh, my receiver, how long it’s been. i had rolled over in my bed until it felt like a grave. can you bear my voice? will you speak up again? i will heel at your behest. i cannot catch your attention while you stare straight ahead. are you happy? did you collect all your debts? oh, my believer, how does it sting? i’d circled back to the moment until it felt like a dream. can i ease your mind? at least sleep through it all? can you meet me again, at the epicenter of our affliction? i won’t speak out of turn. are you happy? did you collect all your debts? in the room before you i can feel it all around, a fever that surrounds and keeps us small and hunkered down; compounding all the terror out loud.
6.
Holden 04:00
~lyrics~ it’s after we’ve lied about having gone to sleep i desperately repeat: “you are not my missing piece.” but if it’s peace i want then how do i surrender your gilded sighs, your grip, and the crook of your neck? how ageless is the want to plunge headfirst in the water; the surge of feeling like you’re held by something bigger? and i’ve tried to starve my need to be led by the hand to who i’m meant to be. if i could be still you know i would. besides, it’s easier to lie. and when i lift my arms above my head i pray that i am lifted instead. defenestrated by a force unseen oh believer, is it ever really up to me? how ageless is the want to plunge headfirst in the water; the surge of feeling like you’re held by something bigger? and i’ve tried to starve my need to be led by the hand to who i’m meant to be.
7.
Egret 03:43
~lyrics~ “if i should say less, would that leave you wanting more?” “is that what you learned against your parents’ door?” a child of white noise and mirrors painted over. we fucked up when we collared our old lives. it’s hard to swallow all the bloodlust. a door forced open, like teeth to tile. a tempest. “did you guess we’d tear one another to shreds? is that why you spend your time tearing up your skin instead?” “you thought me gleaming, a flash behind your eyes. i think it fair that i deny myself that pride.” i am playing out an old dream: a row of egrets; your father spoke of sympathy a bird leans in close, it whispers something of scarcely tempered rage. i speak it back to you; you’re silent. in the backseat, both our first and last times, i didn’t mean to make our bed, but god, i feel cold as i lie in it.
8.
Revenant 04:43
~lyrics~ i regret digging you a grave so shallow. as if i await you shifting mounds of earth, as if i want you to wake up and gut me for it. but you will whisper at every pause on the turnpike. i am the one choked up on all the dirt and irony. i am yours, eroded and mute. you remain just beneath the surface, always, as your parents have with you. you have held your mother’s pain aloft, a coronary refrain. am i the skin you grafted onto all the wounds you didn’t tend to? am i just flawed enough? i cannot keep tracking mud through every home i enter; i cannot put you to rest until you grant me silence.
9.
Seraph 03:38
~lyrics~ what does it take to get there? you’re on the roof, arms stretched wide safe alone, cradled by the afternoon all your friends called you up wrap the streets around your newfound headglow born of asphalt and its callous disregard warped and faded as you retrace all your steps is it just like you remember? you know you must wait to know your place at the end of the hall, arms stretched wide is it enough to know they care? all your friends hoist you up. hold your head high ‘till it hits the mattress hard trust your favorite signs that it will be alright warm and fading as you finally get your rest is it just like you remember? you can’t have it any other way, but you know you would do it all over just to catch that glimmer again.
10.
~lyrics~ as the fury fades to grace, watch redemption’s furtive place. like a breaching of a mind you won’t recall had any sign of each indomitable time; blotting out a bleach stain to reframe. it’s like a forgery (is that enough of me?) holden brazenry (folded hazardry) how understayed, the loss one feels, (unlearn a fragment, come in) to re-decide on claims to lay beside. (the hum is low) pull taught your own hope, no crease to ride on the bedsheets stained and plied posit pressure to the mind as you collect a kin of strife - you will bind yourself blind in time. cordoned off and quartered, your core verse stands to lose some faith is it a forgery? (it is enough of me) holden brazenry (folded hazardry) how understayed, the loss one feels, (unlearn a fragment, come in) to re-decide on claims to lay beside. (the hum is low) i’d celebrate the settling sea; a virtue. (let limp your right hand; release) and i recognize i keep alight that burning lake. (the hunger still) i know.
11.
Kept 01:41
~lyrics~ i struggle to rephrase the way it first came to me. i think of it as formless now, just a shift in the dormer. you’re alive again, in that same sense: in belief. a meadowlark skirts the lake: a renewal. oh smith, how we knew ya. now repeat after him: “if you wanted to, you would.”

about

"kept" will be available in its entirety on 10/13/23 <3

credits

released October 13, 2023

Ben Pisano - Vocals, guitars, keys, synths, bass, drums, percussion, programming/sampling/processing

Sumner Erhard - Drums (3, 4, 5, 10), bass (3), guitar (6)

Ryan Bannigan - Drums (5, 9), keys (2), synth (2, 7)

Olivia Shaw - Violin (3, 8, 10)

Kari Clifton - Cello (3, 8, 10)

Anna Panella - Trombone (4, 9)

Bridget Hartman - Saxophone (4, 9)

Alex Schaaf - Keys (5), synth (5)

Darby Cicci - Trumpet (1)

Melanie Steinway - String arrangement (3)

Isadora Decker-Lucke - Backing vocals (6)

Alana Margolis - Addl. vocals (3)

Produced, engineered, recorded, & mixed at The Astuary by Ben Pisano from Oct 2021 - Oct 2022, with additional samples/textures/elements collected from 2017 - 2022.

Trumpet recorded & engineered remotely by Darby Cicci
Keys & synths recorded & engineered remotely by Alex Schaaf
Backing vocals recorded & engineered remotely by Isadora Decker-Lucke

Mastered by Joe Lambert

Songs by Ben Pisano except 3 & 4, by Ben Pisano & Sumner Erhard. Words by Ben Pisano.

Kept was written from Sep 2018 - Oct 2022.

Photography by Madi Heath

Design & artwork by Jakob Mueller

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Corsicana Denver, Colorado

hi! ben here. me & my friends make indie rock/dream pop with some added bleep bloops <3

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